I wrote a post that I’m rather proud of. And then something happened when I tried to save it and it’s gone forever.
It was a bunch of mush about married life and soul mates and happiness, but it was too much work to pull that out once tonight already, so it’ll have to wait for another time. I’m rather tired, and I’m really at a loss for what to say. I only know that the more time I let slip by without writing, the harder it will be for me to make time for it in the future. We are childless for the time-being, so I think that in and of itself is enough reason why we will never have as much time to do the things we like as we do now.
He’s gotten to play a good bit these past couple of months. He’s even gotten a couple paying gigs recording a bass track for a couple songs. And that’s rather exciting. It is, after all, why we moved here. I’m very grateful we had the fortune of meeting the people we’ve met that have provided a path to these opportunities. You really don’t know what to expect when you move to Music City among hundreds of other musicians every year all wanting the same thing: to get paid to do what they love. We’ve been very blessed to have the opportunities we’ve had. Music City has been good to us. There’s no shortage of good music any night of the week, good local restaurants nearby wherever we are, or good local food at the markets.
It wasn’t easy, I will admit. I spent many days and nights in tears for fear that things would never work out. Fear that this was what everyone expected, to move away and become failures. I shared with my father on one of those bad days how much I worried about what people would say when they found out we still hadn’t gotten jobs, and he replied in his wise way with, “Well, we don’t care what people have to say.”
You work so hard for a certain life, and when it doesn’t happen when you want it to or the way you want it to, it’s just too easy to fall off in despair, because having faith and remaining optimistic is way harder.
I bought a book today, and it’s Robert Galbraith*JK Rowling*’s latest, The Silkworm. I’m very excited about it. The liquor store down the street was having a special on Francis Coppola Merlot, so I’m very much anticipating a Friday night with a glass of wine and a new mystery novel.
And tonight, we had frozen pizza for dinner because our plans to grill fish fell through. Would you believe that you have to have fish in possession if you want to grill it? I had already been to the grocery store once this evening, so I was not interested in going to get fish. But I pulled out that pizza on a stone my mother gave us, and I remembered to be grateful for thoughtful parents who love us. I used a potholder that I knitted myself, and I remembered to be grateful for learning knew things and to always be eager to learn more. It takes no effort at all to worry over all the things that make a life not-so-great. Bills, debt, family drama, my clothes getting smaller (what they say about gaining weight after you get married is NOT a lie). And a lot of the time, it takes great effort to remember your blessings. But those moments when you hardly have to try at all – that song that came on the radio that you never heard before but is now your favorite song, that stranger who smiled at you in a kind way and not the creepy way, the person in front of you in the drive-thru who paid for your food, or the beautiful weather on the lake – those moments are the true treasures of life. Glimpses of the way things are supposed to be, the way God is restoring this broken place into a home-sweet-home where love and kindness rule our lives.
It’s a good life, and each night when I drink my tea before I go to sleep, I remind myself to be grateful for it.